Here is an excerpt from Ian Kerner’s book “Passionista” on the topic:

“Viagra and its brethren not only reinforce the same old bad habits and often recreate the same old bad sex, but also refocuse the lens more intensely on coital sex, with the penis as its totem. As one woman noted to me about the introduction of Viagra into her sex life, “It’s like his penis is a trophy for a game he never played and shame on me if I don’t go in there and act like a cheerleader.”

With or without Viagra in their lives, many women have resigned themselves to orgasmless relationships and often resort to faking it in lieu of bruising the fragile male ego or prolonging an already uncomfortable or unpleasant activity. And because many of us were taught that intercourse is the “right” way to experience orgasm many women feel responsible for their nonclimactic state of affairs.

So if your guy is on an erectile stimulant or thinking about going on one or you discover some little blue pills in his wallet, I urge you to use this as an opportunity to open up new channels of communication. Remember, regardless of age, a big part of why he is taking an erectile stimulant is because he wants to pleasure you. But, as we discussed earlier, he needs to know that there is more to sex than simply having an erection. And it is your job as a passionista to show him the way.”

I agree with Ian, if erectile concerns are part of your love life, communication is what’s needed first and foremost. Cleaning up any emotional issues is second in line. And thirdly learning energy practices, seeing sex as an energetic event as much as a physical one can completely transform a uncooperative penis into an eager one.

And here one more thought for you, just to give you perspective:

One of my most important mentors in the area of sacred sex, the late Barry Long, insisted that having a fully erect penis outside of the vagina was unnatural. He said a penis should not become fully erect until it had entered the vagina. He called the rock hard penis long before lovemaking an emotional penis and to him that was a negative term, meaning the sexual drive was not coming from love but from mental excitation.

I hope these different ways of looking at the topic of Viagra will help you make decisions that nurture your intimate relating and move your sex life toward fulfillment and sacredness.

And I agree with Ian that indeed it is the woman who needs to show her man the way. My last post hopefully gave you some real practical things to do about showing him what you like, but also letting him know that you don’t need him hard like a spear at all times will help him relax. And you may need to affirm that many more times then just once.

For more support on how to have sacred, fulfilling sex check out my audio program

Tantra, Sex for the Soul

https://sacredloving.net/SacredSexStore_pages/Audio5CDs.html

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Listen for free to select chapters of the audio program "Tantra, Sex for the Soul".
Your privacy is as sacred to us as your love-life, we will not be sharing your email address with anyone.
© Sacred Loving 2015 All Rights Reserved.
Thank you for your interest in upcoming news, join this mail list for updates.