Articles & Reviews

The Secrets of Sacred Sex

by Niyaso Christine Carter

About the Sacred Loving workshops and the Body, Heart and Soul Training Despite all the exposure that sex has in the media these days it still remains a topic of great mystery and confusion. How do we define a healthy sexuality? Personally I find the answer is not at all easy. But just for fun and to give you some food for thought I’d like to draw you a picture. A sexually healthy being, to me, is someone who is able to experience their own body as a pleasurable place to be, who can receive touch and enjoy it, someone who knows what touch they like and what touch they don’t like and is able to communicate these facts clearly and effortlessly. Someone who finds the act of lovemaking, when they choose to engage in it, pleasurable and fulfilling most of the time and ecstatically inspiring and deeply moving at least some of the time. Someone who is able to be honest about whether or not they are enjoying a fulfilling sex life because they trust and listen to themselves. Someone who has the ability to choose a partner or partners that they can find fulfillment and growth with in the matters of love as well as sex; and who is able to sustain such relationships. Someone who knows how to enjoy themselves alone, live fully with others and transform their sexual energy into any creative act they wish. Often when I tell people about the work that I do, they react skeptically and find it hard to believe that there are workshops available where people learn about sexuality in a way that has integrity. This skepticism is very valid in a world where there is so much confusion, disappointment and abusiveness around the topics of love and sexuality. It is no small task to create a workshop that is at the same time profoundly opening and completely safe. Paul and I and our team are continuously fine-tuning the way we present structures and processes in our workshops, making them more effective and safe. We have come a long way since we first started presenting sexuality workshops as the Body, Heart & Soul Education 12 years ago. We create the context in which the participants are invited to play, honoring their needs and boundaries and giving them the opportunity to learn and practice healthier ways of relating and loving. Learning in this way is truly empowering. Sometimes when I think of how my work is most simply described I’d say it’s my job to help people learn to enjoy themselves more, to help women and men awaken their passion and pleasure and rediscover their joy and open to love; and if they already enjoy these qualities in their life, to expand their capacity for them. This sounds pretty trivial but it really isn’t at all. Because on this journey of finding your happiness, joy and pleasure everything that’s in the way will present itself for healing and transforming and that is no small endeavor. We all have our places of darkness; my own journey for example has brought me to my knees a many many times over the years. But in the process it’s opened me and it’s also given me first hand experience and training in trauma and recovery work. It’s challenged me to look at the work that I do from yet another perspective and I was pleased to discover that it is good and the changes I’ve made because of my experiences feel like a natural evolution rather than a change of direction. So these journeys we make into the underworld always reveal themselves as a blessing in the end. Today there is a tremendous need for programs that teach congruently in the area of sexuality, especially considering statistics that show that every third woman and every tenth man in Western society has experienced some form of sexual abuse or molestation by the time they are 18. Not to mention the moderate to severe wounding incurred by the “normal” sexually repressive upbringing most of us have had. And things are not really getting any better in the world at large. People often ask if we teach Tantra. In our programs we do teach techniques and offer rituals, some of which are derived from ancient practices. There are workshops that teach techniques for spiritual sexuality, generally termed Tantra workshops. They can be very valuable but rarely do these workshops address issues like the need to learn about boundaries or how to negotiate the different feelings that come up when energetic opening happens. It is simply not their focus. Yet it often is the sexually wounded, whether they are consciously aware of it or not, who seek out these Tantra groups because they promise what these people so rightly long for; sensual sexual fulfillment, intimacy and love. Then there is the self help and recovery movement, with books on codependence, sex addiction and abuse healing and the twelve-step groups, which provide crucial information and support. They are very good at describing symptoms and explaining them, an important first step that helps people stop their self-destructive behaviors. But they devote little time to the how to’s of finding your passion and joy again. Not to have the wrong kind of sex is good, but it’s not enough. Finding good support can be pretty hard for those looking for help with their pain and in finding joy. No matter how much we talk about ecstasy, unconditional love, and honoring ourselves, it is the trial and error real-life learning that makes a difference. To do this learning in a safe, informative setting is invaluable. What we have created in the Sacred Loving workshops and the Training is a comprehensive program that brings together the teachings, learnings and rituals so often held separate in a society, where spirituality, psychology and biology are taught in fragmented compartments rather than as interrelated aspects of life. Our workshops are safe, they are fun and they really work. I invite you to come play, heal and transform with us.


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a video co-created by Cynthia Connop and Niyaso Christine Carter

A Video Review

by Annie Brook Tantra: The Magazine

This is an exquisite video. It addresses Tantric sexual practices in a tasteful and comprehensive manner. It is the most thoroughly sacred approach to sexuality of all the contemporary informational videos I have seen. The Secrets of Sacred Sex does far more than present information; it models the tone and feeling of commitment to a Tantric life-style. The commitment modeled uses sexuality as a vehicle to discover the ongoing essence of intimacy and deepening relating. Whether you are single or part of a couple, The material here can be used over and over to deepen sacred spirituality and increase one’s ability to cultivate and respond to refined sexual energy. Tasteful is the key word in describing this video. Sacred Sex sets the tone for Tantric intimacy. The approach draws on beauty in both the presentation of the teaching material and also in the completely sensual approach to all the “lessons.” The settings used, the clothing worn, the sound quality and choices of camera angles all contribute to a exquisite quality that is a delight to observe. The video is designed to give people a chance to view what it might be like to live a Tantric life-style and experience profound sexual, emotional, and spiritual connection and healing. The overall presentation is elegant, artistic, and touchingly intimate. Sacred Sex does not present material with either the down home casualness of a street professional or the intellectual approach of a clinical sex therapist. Real life couples express what they have discovered through intimately sharing Tantric practices. This video has some of the most poetic descriptions of subtle energies arising out of the valley orgasm experience I have ever witnessed. I would recommend the video for these descriptions alone, as they so bring to life the possibilities of subtle energy exchange and spiritual connection between partners. While Sacred Sex does not cover a thorough explanation of sexual anatomy in terms of the G-spot or specific ways of touching the lingam, it does contain a wealth of specific techniques to try. If anything, Sacred Sex may have more material than can be absorbed in one sitting. However, the content can be reviewed and digested over many viewings to allow one to begin to embody the practices. Specific material covered includes sexual health and vitality, relational/communication practices, energy and breath practices, sensuality, and an overview of the value of a Tantric relationship. This is a chance to observe couples who have weathered the storms and pleasures of daily life through their supportive commitment to Tantric sexual healing with each other. Ancient Tantric texts are referred to briefly, giving a context for the material presented. You are then presented practices on breath work, chakras, ejaculation control, pleasuring, pacing, creating harmony, eye gazing, sensual massage, valley orgasm, nurturing meditation and communication. One particular aspect I appreciated is that the couples presented, including a racially mixed couple, appear to be practicing Tantrikas rather than models hired to make an educational sex video. The more novice couple was introduced as such; they were watching the video along with the viewer and practicing the techniques. The other couples shared from a more seasoned Tantric perspective. The candid discussion of how the rocky times of relationship can be supported through the use of Tantric practices was also helpful. One is left feeling that this life-style can be embodied by all of us within the context of life in the world. Sacred Sex makes the pleasuring and relational aspects of Tantric practice real and attainable. It is enjoyable to watch people treat each other with loving intimacy. The practices are sensitively modeled and followed by discussion and interviews. This enables a cognitive understanding of the theory behind the practice. There is an obvious commitment by the authors to sexual healing and an increased embodiment of love. I am grateful that such a film is available. Sacred Sex shows how embodying Tantric practices in our intimate lives can help us go deeper in both relating and in cultivating compassion for one another. We highly recommend it Annie Brook


Phone consultations are available. For more details click here

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Listen for free to select chapters of the audio program "Tantra, Sex for the Soul".
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-Dr. Wayne Dyer, Best Selling Spiritual Author
© Sacred Loving 2015 All Rights Reserved.
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Listen for free to select chapters of the audio program "Tantra, Sex for the Soul".
Your privacy is as sacred to us as your love-life, we will not be sharing your email address with anyone.
© Sacred Loving 2015 All Rights Reserved.
Thank you for your interest in upcoming news, join this mail list for updates.